All in all, the job search process took 14 months, from the time I started looking, not sure what I wanted to do, to signing a job offer.
A friend of mine who graduated from a Stanford graduate program (product design) in June has still not found a job!!! So, my advice to anyone who is on the job hunt, especially in this economy, is to START EARLY! By early, I mean 12 months in advance. Seriously. Timing is VERY tricky on this though, and it is very difficult to coordinate ending a postdoc with starting a new job--what if you find a job in a month, and you still have 8 months of experiments? It may be that the job will wait... if not, frankly if you can find a job in a month once, you may be able to do it again later.... but it's a gamble.

I guess the rest of my advice is as follows:

Use interviews as a way of finding out more about what job you might like. Early on, apply to anything that sounds interesting, even if you don't know exactly what the position is/does. I found many job titles and job descriptions to be vague, and it was only after I had read a million of them and done some interviewing that I developed an intuitive "feel" for what a given job was within any given company. It takes practice, at first you may feel confused and lost when looking at that positions, but it will go away.

Tailor each resume to each job. Many companies either have a computer on-site reading their resumes, or are small companies but outsource their hiring to a company with a computer reading the resume. This means that a computer is looking for key words in the resume and matching it to the job description. So, if the job description asks for someone with "excellent communication" skills and you say that you have "strong interpersonal" skills, thinking that these are getting at the same point--guess what--a computer will not make the connection. Even people at one of these hiring firms will not necessarily understand the job you are applying for, and no, they really aren't able to connect how what you wrote addresses the requirements of the job--yes, you have to *spell* *it* *out* for them.
So, if they ask for "excellent communication skills," you put down that you have "excellent communication" skills.

Personal assessments are useful. I am a skeptic by nature, and frankly many of them seemed lame to me. But I tried one through the Career Development Center, and it was one of the most profound things I have ever done (as relates to job/career decisions). I did the "values" assessment, which basically determines what the top 10 or so aspects of your job are the most important to you. Knowing this *outside* of the context of a particular job title is important. For example, a career in academic administration, which I was focused on for awhile, only filled about 6 of my 10 needs, even though in my head, it was ranked as the #1 thing I wanted to do. Conversely, I was skeptical about entering biotech, but realized that a career in medical devices satisfied *all 10* requirements!!! Amazing! So even if you feel lame, do it. You'll feel even more lame if you end up with a job you hate.

There is probably more advice that I could offer, but I think those are the most important points.

In other news, I have been asked to serve as a speaker at the National Postdoctoral Association Annual Meeting, alongside Cora Marrett, Director of Education and Human Resources at the National Science Foundation, and Norka Ruiz-Bravo, Deputy Director for
Extramural Research at the NIH. The topic will be mentoring and the role of the government in promoting the mentorship of postdoctorates. I think we all recognize that effective, thorough mentoring is crucial in order for a postdoctorate to be successful in transitioning to an independent research career. However, faculty are given no incentive to mentor (their success, and grants, are based on productivity, and mentoring can be perceived as detracting from productivity). In the current grant system, there is no time set aside for mentoring, and mentoring activities are neither required or rewarded (this is changing with the NSF reauthorization, requiring mentoring on research grants, but the NIH has het to make any such change). So, it should be an interesting discussion.

I am looking forward to another quarter of Medicine and Horses. I am concerned about being able to get away from my "day job" in order to teach, but I'll take each day as it comes, and cross that bridge when it comes.

Finally, some sad news. My cycling buddy Kristy Gough was killed on Sunday, along with Matt Peterson from Roaring Mouse (they were struck by a deputy on patrol). I have been in tears all week. Kristy taught me a lot about life though, in our short friendship. I think the single most important lesson, that applies to scientists as well as athletes, was humility--she was a world champion, but never boasted or acted as if she was superior to others (even though she actually was). I see a lot of people in science act condescending towards others; perhaps this is a product of the competitive nature of the grant application process, in which one must convince peers that one is "better" than others and more deserving of funding... But cycling is equally if not more competitive, yet here was someone who showed a genuine interest and concern for *everyone* around her, from the bottom to the top. Arrogance serves no purpose but to destroy relationships, and narrow your field of supporters down to... well, nothing. Rest in peace, Kristy. May we all strive to rise to your standard.

The application process has been extraordinarily frustrating. Many places are laying off right now, so the market is flooded with *experienced* candidates. So many of these places don't even respond to the application, even after I follow up ad nauseum. Also, for many places, it takes about 6 months (or longer) from the time you apply to the time you are offered a job. So, my advice to everyone who will be seeking employment in the future is, start looking a year in advance! It takes weeks to come up with jobs that you would even want to apply for, and you can't count on your first or even 20th application being the successful one. So, figure out what you want to do and plan early! Also, rather than soul searching for what you want to do with your life and then looking for a job, I would recommend using the job search process as a tool for soul searching. By applying to jobs, you find out more about what they offer, what they don't offer, and in turn, get a better grasp of what your real needs are, and what is not negotiable in your life. This means you are less far behind in your job application process, and will allow you to get a better grasp of what these jobs really *are*. You can then start to target your search a little more effectively, because you will know yourself better, and better understand what you are reading when you log on to company X's website and read a vague or less-than-clear job description.

I have discovered that project management is a great job fit for me. I don't have to be *at* the bench, but rather, get to coordinate and oversee projects--one of my strengths. I also get a lot more interpersonal interaction that way. Coming from veterinary medicine, where you may literally have contact with 40-50 or more people today (between patient updates, appointments, interactions with staff and colleagues, etc), I miss people! Lab work is too isolated for me.

I have found a great company for which I would love to work, but now need to keep my fingers crossed that I will get the position. It is a device consulting firm, so I would get to work with several other device companies, rather than focusing my whole life on one product. Perfect for my preference to work in a constantly changing, fast paced environment!

I will retain my position as Chair of Policy for the National Postdoctoral Association. This will allow me to continue to my work for this fantastic organization. It will also allow me to know that I am still making great contributions towards the research enterprise, by enhancing and improving life for young scientists nationwide.

More to come... Hopefully, my next post says something to the effect that I have a job!

-William Shakespoke.

(aka Lucia Mokres)

hey k,
after sitting on the telecon line for over 10 minutes, having once
redialed to make sure i put in the right moderator code, singing
lonely sad songs to myself (country music seemed best suited, though
it's not what i usually listen to), L. finally came on. so
she and i just socialized for an hour. i was like, wow, i must really suck, i can't even get anyone to attend a telecon, even after my exciting "just got back from CCLI had many good ideas this won't be a boring call" note.

OOPS! Well, I guess on the list of "awkward email moments" this ranks fairly low, at least I didn't say anything embarrassing. And of course, I followed up this email with an email to the group, explaining the mistake and also subtly hinting that maybe they should feel guilty enough to attend the make-up meeting next week.

If anything, I got a great response for the meeting next week--seems people respond to pity more than they do to a plain ol' telecon announcement. I'll have to keep that in mind.

The upshot (and greater picture) of this is, of course, that working on this committee has given me extraordinary insight into what it takes to lead a committee--not just in terms of getting the work done, but in motivating volunteers, giving them a sense of ownership of their projects and a sense of community.

I guess the other big picture is be careful of what you write in an email, you never know where it will end up after you hit send.

Over and out.

Am realizing the true implications of what it is to join the "real world" of work. Up to this point, I have always been in a training position--veterinary school, internships, postdoc... the application process, and indeed application philosophy, is entirely different than that of the job market outside of hospital walls and ivory towers. Did you know that you should be applying to between two and six jobs PER WEEK? I sure didn't... It just doesn't work that way in academia, internships etc, where even applying to 10-20 places can be a lot.

Part of my problem is that I approach the job search like I approach dating; namely, that I am way too picky and don't give many jobs a chance before I write them off as being "too boring" or "not my cup of tea."

Thankfully, I have met up with some fantastic people lately, one of whom gave me the most spectacular career advice I have ever recieved (mostly to the effect of, "whatever your prejudice is against job X, get *over it* and really LOOK at what you enjoy doing and how that job might enable you to do that"). This has opened up so many doors for me, and has me focusing, among other things, on the medical device industry.

To put it as inarticulately as I can (I tried to formulate an articulate sentence here and failed, so I'm swinging the other direction), I like things that *do* things. Even more, I like things that help people do things that help other people. Has medical devices written all over it, doesn't it? I remain passionate about policy, higher education, and issues pertaining to minorities and women in science, so a career in that vein is a strong possibility as well. The good news is, I can do both, by continuing my role as Chair of Policy for the National Postdoctoral Association, my work with AWIS, and my work with medical students, but having an equally rewarding day job in industry. The reality is that any one of these areas, and probably many more that I still have not considered, are possible.

I wish that recognizing that one is multitalented, with multiple and widely varying interests, was not so frequently equated with being "flaky" or "lacks direction/purpose" or "has no goals." Not that I have ever received such feedback personally, but I know these attitudes are out there, and hope that they do not affect my job search. Have you ever noticed how people who have always been on a very straight and narrow professional pathway, never deviating from their goal from the time they were an embryo to the time they died, are spoken of very highly, whereas a varied work history is something that sometimes has to be "overcome" or "creatively dealt with?" I object. There are many things I am spectacular at, not just one. There are many things I am truly passionate about, not just one. This makes me a more complete person, not less. It also means that there are many many jobs out there that I could make a real difference in, and enjoy. The challenge is finding 2-6 per week to apply to.

Oh, I got 2nd at the Montebello Hill Climb. I realize that most of the pictures I have been posting have been cycling, but honestly a picture of me in the lab would be a little boing and cycling does take the vast majority of whatever "free" time I have... I'm the one in red and yellow, with my face hole hanging wide open (heart rate was around 184bpm at that point).

I am also frustrated with the job hunt. I still think there are a lot of things that I would be good at and enjoy doing, but it seems like there is always a catch. Most of the things that would be of most interest to me don't pay well, and my financial reality prevents me from taking these on, such as work for a nonprofit or think tank.

I also think there is a lot out there that I just don't realize exists... I'm sure somewhere out there, there is a job that wants me, and that I want in return. It's just a matter of getting connected. My interest still remains "policy, law, and administration as relates to science and healthcare," so ultimately I think I can find something that will fit. My main issue is that I can't settle for something just because it's a paycheck--I don't work well unless I am passionate about what I am doing, and that it gives me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Maybe I expect too much? I don't know. Will persevere.

Another stressful thing is that my cousin is being sent to Iraq. I am very close to my aunt; she is like a second mother to me (literally). So, her stress is my stress, not that it's not stressful in and of itself for my cousin to be going--but her pain and fear are what I am most sensitive to. Without going into great political detail, it's just a horrible situation in general. I can only hope he comes out of everything OK, not just alive but mentally and physically healthy.

Things with the National Postdoctoral Association are going well. Lots of work, but I feel like I am having a positive impact on things. The lab is going ok too, and though I think I am going to have to extend my term in my lab beyond August 31 (my current departure date), I am ok with that. I think the project is a good one and I would like to see it wrapped up.

That's pretty much all for now... hopefully next time I write it's with a positive update on the job hunt!

I have actually gotten leads on both a great job and a great housing situation, but am having a bad feeling that both will fall through... I am trying to find the right balance between being the squeaky wheel and being a nuisance--always a challenge to show genuine interest but not annoy people to death.

A well timed vacation was in order, and I'm just back from a weeklong trip to Aspen, CO (my birthplace). Got some great riding in... See photos attached.

More to come as I find out about those most basic of needs, shelter and work!

My first ride in Colorado, to the Maroon Bells. The sky is hazy due to all of the smoke from a 400,000 acre wildfire in Utah.

Conquering Independence Pass. It actually wasn't as hard as you'd think it would be--but hard enough. The sad part was getting stuck behind a slow van on the descent.

The view from a ride up Castle Creek Road, towards the Elk Range.

Very fresh green hay on a ride between Aspen and Snowmass. Smoothie would think he was in horse heaven.

Happy Lucia:

PS The bandage is covering road rash from my race the week before. I got 12th out of 30 racers in the Northern California and Nevada Cycling Association Women's Cat 4 Road Race Championship, after being behind one crash and bailing into a ditch, catching up to the lead pack again, and then going down hard 3 miles from the finish line having gotten stuck in some bike traffic and crossing wheels with another rider.

I have my first race in a week and a half--scary! I know I'm not fit enough to really ride my best yet but I hope I place ok anyway. I will be racing Category 4 (aka Cat 4), at the Mount Hamilton Classic. I am going to try to race as much as I can this summer. Bike racing involves a lot of tactics and decision making, based on both experience and knowledge of your competition. Unlike running, in which you are a little more control of the outcome based entirely on your effort, in bike racing the fastest cyclist doesn't necessarily win--rather, it is the one that makes the best decisions, and has the luck not to crash or have mechanical trouble, who wins. Having, oh, ZERO bike race experience under my belt, I really need to get some races in if I am going to get competitive any time soon. I just kick myself that I am 30 and have only just discovered this sport!

I'm hoping I can get some good photos at one of these events to post. I know my blog has really been short on visual appeal, but I'll get some pics on soon!

After our brief oral presentations, we had to sit up on the stage and take questions from the audience. The room was packed, all chairs filled and standing room only about three or four people deep, maybe 500-600+ people total... The funny thing was that after I got over the butterflies, I quite liked sitting up there. Especially as no one was asking me any questions! That is, until my PI asked me a question about relating my work to someone else's research, to which I gave the answer, followed promptly by that researcher standing up and disagreeing with me about his findings. So that was interesting. Actually it wasn't as bad as it sounds, he sort of disagreed under his breath and then launched into a description about his own work. I quickly discovered that the Q and A sessions are really a chance for others who did not get chosen to present at the meeting to have their own little two minute presentations. Overall the meeting was interesting, and a good experience. Glad it's over and to be back in California, though!

Now the trick is to narrow down my focus. There are still so many directions I could go with this. I could be a patent agent for a law firm, something I am ideally suited for (and let me tell you I have had more than one person tell me I should have been in law all along!). I could get into academic administration, which would be a perfect opportunity to develop and improve a university's programming for students/postdocs, as well as have an opportunity to have a voice in shaping that institution's policy (and via involvement with organizations such as the National Postdoctoral Association, national policy as well). I could go on to a nonprofit or think tank and develop a career in policy, from the local to national level... So many choices! All of which I would be happy with.

I guess ultimately it will depend on which door opens up where. I still face the sad reality of having massive student debt, an extraordinarily high cost of living, and a desire to eventually retire (shocking, I know, but true). So, I can't afford to take a low salary job, even if it would be the best way to get a "foot in the door" for any of these fields. I find that I'm full of motivation, and I'm not short on leadership experience, but as a postdoc I lack operations experience. Ah, there's the hairball. Overqualified for admin assistant work. Underqualified for much else (at least according to some sources). It is the old challenge of getting someone to give you that first break in a career for which you have great passion and great potential, if not great experience.

Wish me luck!

I also decided that since I was to busy to do anything but eat, breathe, and sleep "Role of PDGF in Lung Development," that it would be a great time to sign on as the new Chair of Policy for the National Postdoctoral Association. I don't know what this says about me--perhaps that I am smart but not wise? No... I just really want to make a difference for young scientists. We are at such a crossroads right now, with grant funding so low and so many young researchers at a crossroads, deciding whether they can afford to stay in academic science (more often than not the answer seems to be "no"). I am itching to find a way to affect change. I am going to the NPA meeting this weekend, which conveniently is in Berkeley this year. I hope that it will prove fruitful, both in terms of bringing ideas back to Stanford to improve life for our postdocs, and in terms of some personal networking.

The career search continues, and I find myself stuck between a sense of great social responsibility (i.e. low paying non-profit jobs) and a sense of responsibility towards caring for myself and family (i.e. need something with slightly higher compensation). The financial reality hits hard, with a couple hundred thousand in student debt and the desire to buy a home in California on a single income. Can I find a position where the contribution towards society is direct and tangible, and yet pays well enough to allow me to stay in the Bay Area? We shall see...

10:30AM: Look outside, see that it's not raining. Decide that it's a good day to ride bike. Get dressed for cycling...

11:45AM: Have sustained 5 broken fingers, an aneurysm, and a coronary trying to get rear tire on. Am wondering if this means that I need to hit the gym more.

11:55AM: Decide that as long as I have rear wheel off, I may as well clean the cassette (the gears on the rear wheel).

12:10PM: Cassette and rear derailleur are cleaned and lubed. Kitchen sink, formerly white, is now gray and faintly chemical smelling.

12:30PM: Front tire replaced

12:33PM: Decide that as long as I'm at it, may as well clean chain and front derailleur.

1:10PM: Ready to go. Put on shoes, booties, full finger gloves, helmet, cycling glasses, fill water bottles, pack power goo, cell phone, wallet.

1:15PM: Head out door, close behind me. Deluge starts. Raindrops the size of large cats. Realize that I did not pack house key.

1:20PM: Dig through mud, trying to find buried spare keys in yard. I keep spares out, as I lock myself out at least once a month. The last time I locked myself out, my landlord could not get me a key because she had just lost 1/4 of a contact in her eye. So had to get a locksmith to open door, and he couldn't. So he had to drill the lock out. But the drill bit broke off in the door. 4 hours later I had a new lock, and buried keys in the yard. But I digress. As I dig, I encounter at least 45 earthworms, snails, and earwigs, having cocktail hour in honor of the rain. My keys seem to be the social hub. Good thing I'm a vet and not afraid of crawly things.

1:25PM: Standing in front of DVD collection. Bike safely in place on trainer. Cup of hot tea in hand.

Sunday February 11:

Much better! I rode my bike *and* my horse. By Monday (today) I couldn't walk and made funny grunting noises every time I stood up and down (sore quads) but had a blast. Here is a picture of my boy (obviously *not* taken yesterday):

As part of the lecture, we were asked to brainstorm "good experiences" (events like vacation in Caribbean don't count, though I thought I'd throw in a photo of my recent winter vacation trip just to argue that maybe they should).

Nor do accomplishments like "completed internship" or "graduated from vet med school" or whatever. The idea is it has to be something that is a relatively discrete and specific event, that you initiated, and saw to completion, did well, and that made you happy and proud (so major accomplishments that you didn't really enjoy don't count either).

So there I sat. Completing a season with the Team in Training came to mind right away. But then I was stuck. Postdoc doesn't count, too long term and broad... Hmm... Have lots of great things going on now, but they are not really complete yet so couldn't include those... and then the sinking feeling set in. We are supposed to come up with five "good experiences," and I can only think of one! IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME? They didn't even have to be recent experiences--even something from childhood would count, and there I was, empty handed. I raised my hand for help, and asked if this project was designed to depress us or was it just me (insert small violins playing for me here).

But fear not, intrepid readers, there is a silver lining. The next part of the exercise was to describe one of your good experiences (or, in my case, your one good experience) to others, and get their feedback on how they would describe you. My feedback included resourceful, positive, self-aware, confident, team oriented, able to see humor in a situation (in reference to the multiple wrecks I had in my first months of cycling), compassionate, passionate, fearless, dedicated...

WOW! Instant depression reversal. And the fascinating thing was that after hearing these things, I was able to brainstorm many other "good experiences," as defined by the Dependable Strengths folks.

I think it's a symptom of our training as scientists, both in terms of the nature of the work and the training process that we become so critical of everything around us, it overflows and we become overly critical of ourselves. We are in a field where we must compete, to prove why we are a better candidate for a graduate program, why our grant is better, why our manuscript should be published, why our diagnosis should be believed. In the process of competing, we must become so critical of anything that we see as a weakness, a deficiency, a vulnerability, that we risk becoming our own harshest critics. This process is so insidious that even for generally upbeat people like myself, we may suddenly become blindsided by the reality of our own ruthless self-perceptions. Hence, when directly confronted with my own reality in coming up with this list, I had to face the demons of insecurity and doubt.

How often do you feel genuinely proud of yourself? I don't mean getting awards or graduating or whatever. How often do you do just a little thing, and feel a great sense of pride? How often do you *enjoy* the entire process--so that even if you are proud of the result, you can say you enjoyed the means as well as the ends? How often do you think you did a *great job* on something, even if others disagree? More importantly, can you recognize when you have done a good job, especially when others disagree? These to me are the skills that are crucial in becoming a successful scientist, and a happy one. It's brutal out there. NIH funding is down to 10% of grants, even less in some fields. Tenure track positions are few and far between. Industry jobs can be hard to get, and job stability is not a certainty. Manuscripts and grants are rejected, projects are terminated, companies downsize. Do you have the strength to recognize that *you* are still a successful, intelligent, quality human being?