August 2007
Eeyore
I feel like Eeyore lately. Blah. I was right, I didn't get the job, or the living situation that I wanted (see last post). I was in a bike wreck racing and I haven't been able to ride for two weeks. I think not riding is causing bad chemicals to float around in my brain.
Excercise has, of course, been linked to the release lots of positive mood-altering hormones and peptides in the brain, and I think I'm in withdrawl. It's bad juju to be off the bike, especially in the middle of race season! Lately I have been able to ride Smoothie though, as long as I don't jump, and that has done much to improve my sanity.
I am also frustrated with the job hunt. I still think there are a lot of things that I would be good at and enjoy doing, but it seems like there is always a catch. Most of the things that would be of most interest to me don't pay well, and my financial reality prevents me from taking these on, such as work for a nonprofit or think tank.
I also think there is a lot out there that I just don't realize exists... I'm sure somewhere out there, there is a job that wants me, and that I want in return. It's just a matter of getting connected. My interest still remains "policy, law, and administration as relates to science and healthcare," so ultimately I think I can find something that will fit. My main issue is that I can't settle for something just because it's a paycheck--I don't work well unless I am passionate about what I am doing, and that it gives me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Maybe I expect too much? I don't know. Will persevere.
Another stressful thing is that my cousin is being sent to Iraq. I am very close to my aunt; she is like a second mother to me (literally). So, her stress is my stress, not that it's not stressful in and of itself for my cousin to be going--but her pain and fear are what I am most sensitive to. Without going into great political detail, it's just a horrible situation in general. I can only hope he comes out of everything OK, not just alive but mentally and physically healthy.
Things with the National Postdoctoral Association are going well. Lots of work, but I feel like I am having a positive impact on things. The lab is going ok too, and though I think I am going to have to extend my term in my lab beyond August 31 (my current departure date), I am ok with that. I think the project is a good one and I would like to see it wrapped up.
That's pretty much all for now... hopefully next time I write it's with a positive update on the job hunt!
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