Reflections

Today is our last class, and I find myself thinking about the beginning. On the first day, Beverley asked us to simply watch the horses. I did this- there were about 40 or so in the corral, some actively moving about, others more sedentary. We were then asked to "pick a horse that is you." How was I supposed to do this? I watched for some time and my eyes fell upon a relatively calm chestnut that had made its way to the fence to see who these strangers were. I liked this horse. He seemed "curious." But why did I pick this horse and not a different one? I believe that I have other qualities besides curiosity- placidity, playfulness, courage... What was so special about the curious one?

We talked about the idea of projecting, how we frequently look at someone else and selectively see qualities in them that we either see in ourself or have prior experience with (ie stereotyping). We strongly project these qualities on people- often in an exaggerated or unfair way- even if we only have a brief exposure to them. I was doing this to the "curious" horse. Of all the qualities that I felt in myself (I was inclined to look at the good rather than the bad), curiosity was figuring most prominently in my life at the time. The transition to medical school has inspired in me newfound interest in learning and exploration. I felt as though this horse could identify with that.

In the context of a doctor-patient relationship, however, it is important that we be wary of projections that we impose on a patient. In many cases, doctors need to learn to separate out their personal emotions and deal with this situations objectively. When talking about horses in class that day, we were repeatedly told to distinguish between our interpretations (projection) and our observations (objective). This is a lesson that I will not soon forget. Medical practice can be highly demanding and emotionally taxing for both the doctor and patient. When life or death decisions are being made, one needs to know what is objective and what is personal.

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Comment by: Sara Crum at October 7, 2009 10:46 AM

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