First Class

The first class of Medicine and Horses was a revelation for me. Dr. Kane instructed us to observe the horses in the group. I am sorry to say that I did not see much the first time around. For one, I was not sure what to look at, exactly, and since they were usually moving it was hard to observe the entire animal to any satisfaction. When we were told to look at the horses' ears, however, things made much more sense. Horses have a means of communication, and it's quite an ingenious one at that.

The direction in which horses' ears point, and the degree to which they are bent, indicate the behavior and the "mood" of the horse. For instance, if a horse points its ears back it lets the other horses know of its aggression. I mentioned earlier that this is an ingenious means of communication because it's such a functional one; horses' sense of vision is unlike man's sense of vision in that it is almost panoramic (the almost being due to their blind spot, which is directly ahead of them). As a result, they can see the bending and pointing of other horses' ears.

The exercise of identifying with horses was also quite fascinating, as it required you to both have some understanding of yourself and to observe the horses' behavior to see something of yourself in them. Indeed, the exercise served to humanize the horses, such that the leap from equine to patient is not terribly difficult.

The following observation is true for me, generally speaking, and my interactions with the horse during the last exercise served to remind me that it's a severe weakness as well: my awkwardness leads to my being very hesitant. This hesitation, in turn, leads to non-action, i.e. I waver on the side of doing nothing. The last exercise for the class was to go up to the horse and gain his/her trust. I responded to the task by an idea to pet the horse, without really knowing where to pet the beaut. I started at the side of his face, but at my doing so he tilted his head in my direction (he was standing at an angle to me prior to petting). This caused me to jerk back my hand (I was worried about touching his nose, which I've never done before, and his possibly biting me if my hand was in the vicinity of the instruments responsible for carrying out that action). In reaction the horse turned away from me. My hesitation and fear were quite easy to "read" for the horse, and I was quite embarrassed.

The worst part about this exchange was that, as I've mentioned earlier, this strange mix of awkwardness, hesitation, and fear that my personality imbibes on during the horse encounter is not limiting to the animal world; I am similarly confounded about what to do on a daily basis as well, and so this characteristic would be a severe detriment to my patients as well. I really hope that this class helps me to gain the self-confidence and self-knowledge that will enable me to not be so fearful that I don't do anything. That possibility frightens me very much. One reason I am quite willing to discuss this weakness is that I do feel as if the class will help me. Till next week!

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